This Blog 2019, Goals and Grommets

Inspired by the 2019 goals post over at Charles's Dragons Never Forget Blog, I figured I would do the same thing. 2018 right around ...

Monday, May 19, 2014

D100 Random things that can happen in a bar.

In the spirit of our game Amazing Adventurers and Incredible Exploits I give you:

D100 Random and sometimes silly things that can happen to or be witnessed by your PC's while they are just sitting around getting piss drunk at the local bar.

  1. A nasty bar fight breaks out, none of the player characters are involved but, someone drops a rather fancy looking dagger during the fray

  2.        Church bells ring, the inn keep jumps to work and starts fastening down all the windows and doors, the locals being to file into the basement without saying a word.

  3.        A child runs into the room shouting that he found a human skeleton down by the creek.

  4.        A caravan arrives from a distant land to the south; they bring rare trade goods, news and rumors.

  5.    Someone tosses a lit torch and a large jar of lamp oil through the window, mayhem ensues.

  6.        One at a time each employee of the inn gets sweaty then very pale, they start dropping like flies, in the throes of some mysterious illness.

  7.        An inn patron stands up and begins spewing a dark prophesy at the top of his lungs.  Just has his speech reaches its climax he explodes sending gore and chunks of gore in all directions.

  8.        While the party is enjoying a drink and some mutton, five armed and armored men bust down the door and demand all the (1d6, 1-3: Women or 4-6 Men) come with them immediately.

  9.        Suddenly the roof is ripped clean off the building a massive Cyclops peers in, muttering only the word “honey-bunny?”
  10.    Earth Quake!

  11.    A scream is heard, the lady of the inn runs into the room crying and pointing to the back of The building. She had gone to draw water from the well, but instead of water she drew up a bucket containing, (1d6: 1.maggots 2.blood 3.dirt 4.a severed head 5. Snakes 6.a giant ant)

  12.    The innkeeper inexplicably and violently stabs a man at the bar.

  13.    The building shutters as something huge lands on the roof.

  14.    Vines and thick roots begin to grow up though the floor boards, entangling patrons.

  15.    A Currier stops at the inn, saying “I have a package for a Mr. Tyree” no one in the bar has heard of him so the Currier says “Well this thing give me the creeps,” The carrier drops a small box with several holes drilled in it and runs away.

  16.    An old man is seated in the corner pouring over some maps, after a few hours one of the party notices, he’s dead.

  17.    A burly man enters the bar; he drops a fat pouch of gold on a table and announces “this and the opportunity for more to anyone who can best me in a fair fight!”

  18.    A Halfling enters the inn, jumps up on a table and announces, ‘My name is Pantster and I am recruiting for the first phase ball team in this area a-do I have any takers?” The inn patrons all look at each other with no idea what the little man is on about.

  19.    Two full blooded orcs one male and one female enter and take seats at the end of the bar. This does not happen often.

  20.    The lady of the establishment comes running from the kitchen screaming “PUUUDINNNNGGG!” Hot on her heals a strange slime of some form slithers along the floor.

  21.    A loud cracking noise can be heard from the back of the inn, if any one investigates they will see a fence has been knocked down and one of the innkeepers goats stolen.

  22.    The room suddenly fills with thick black smoke, obscuring the PC’s vision and making it hard to breath.

  23.    An arrow flies through window catching one of the patrons square in the face.

  24.    A priest walks into the bar and sits down for a drink; the bartender looks up and says, "Is this some kind of joke?" The priest shakes his head and begins to weep.

  25.    A raging bar fight breaks out amongst two gangs of toughs; it spills out onto the street, and then gets serious.

  26.    One of the PC’s accidently discovers a trap door in the floor of the inn.

  27.    The inn keeper yells “Infernal Gremlin bastard!” and begins wildly  firing  a short  bow into the  rafters 

  28.    One of the patrons begins violently choking, he heaves up a very large leach like worm which being s to speak demonic prophecies before trying to escape with surprising speed.

  29.    The innkeeper sits down ant the PC’s table and asks them if they would be interested in buying the place.

  30.    The innkeepers wife pulls one of the PC’s aside (the least attractive one) and proposes she could pay the PC to kill her husband.

  31.    Two clerics in the room get into an argument over theology which quickly comes to blows, then summoning!

  32.    An old miner gets stinking drunk then starts showing off a thumb sized nugget of gold, saying he knows where to get more.

  33.    There is a young man in the bar that looks like he has been beaten badly.

  34.    The innkeeper’s large wolf hound stands up and beings growling for no apparent reason.

  35.    Something impacts the side of the building violently, buckling the wall and tipping over a table.

  36.    A man at the end of the bar is staring vacantly into his beer and mumbling about fairies and fae folk.

  37.    Two patrons playing dice get an argument about theories concerning what a game actually is and the right way to play dice. They stab each other to death.

  38.     A traveling jester is performing in the back of the bar; a pc may notice a tattoo on his ring finger. A lore check would indicate he is (1d6: 1.a ranger 2. An escaped prisoner 3. Demon marked 4.From a distant city 5.cursed 6.much much older than he appears)

  39.    A thief gets caught trying to rob the till, then tries to make his escape.

  40.    A PC spots a man skillfully pick pocketing other patrons.

  41.    Bats begin to swarm within the rafters of the inn; one of the bats is much larger than normal.

  42.    Five mounted knights ride up to the bar, they take table by themselves they seem road weary and hungry.

  43. The bar begins to slowly fill with water form below.

  44.   A troop of dancers from a far off city arrives to entertain the town.

  45.   The owner of the bar comes running from the back of the building shouting “A BEAR IS LOOSE IN THE BAR, everybody run!”

  46.    Town guards kick down the door of the inn and announce “This is a raid; everyone here is under arrest by order of the sovereign!”

  47.    There is a flash of light, a cloaked figure appears, grabs one of the patrons at the bar and they both disappear in another flash!

  48.    Someone has laced the food with  (1d6: 1. paralyzing poison 2.A hallucinogenic drug 3.a deadly poison 4. recognizable Human parts 5.Parasite eggs 6.a narcotic.)

  49.    All of the glasses and bottles behind the bar simultaneously explode sending shrapnel everywhere.

  50.    A group of rare high elves enter the inn, look around turn up their noses and walk out.

  51.    A rowdy group of young men begin harassing the female wait staff.

  52.    A rowdy group of young women begin harassing the male wait staff.

  53.    A man in an executioner’s hood enters and posts a wanted poster on the inside of the door. The poster describes (1d4:  1. One of the PC’s  2. A local hermit 3.the local captain of the guard 4.all of the PC’s)

  54.    The dull thud of arrows hitting the exterior of the building can be heard, lots of arrows.

  55.    A giant snake with broken chains hanging around it’s fat body and the face of an old hag slithers up from the basement, it immediately attacks the innkeeper, even while calling him “dearest.”

  56. The in keep er comes up from the cellar with an incredibly rare and expensive wine, he un-corks the bottle and tells every one to come over, he has reason to celebrate.

  57. While you are sitting in the  bar an incredibly violent and  sudden snow storm blown in, problem is's summer.

  58. A horse and wagon rashes into the building!

  59. A man walks into the  bar and says " I just killed a (1d6: 1.yeti 2.hydra 3.giant 4.dragon 5.Outouth 6. devil) You wanna see it?" 

  60. The inn keepers wife runs into the room and screams MURDERER and pints directly at one of the PC's

  61. A strange noise and be heard out side the bar, after a few minutes a booming voice says "Thispen  Grenwalkd come out or we'll burn you out !" Turns out that noise was the posse piling wood and hey against the  building.

  62. A sudden and powerful thunder storm blows in.

  63. The  bar room fills with  thick fog.

  64. A burly guy is walking around the bar betting gold for arm wrestling.

  65. Three guards burst in , the innkeeper runs out the back door, a young guy at the end of the bar starts a fight with the guards for no obvious reason.

  66. A man begins shaking a bag of coins at the bar tender to get her attention, she walks over to the man and punches him square in the face.

  67. One of the kegs behind the bar starts leaking, but it's not leaking alcohol. Its leaking (1d6:  1.Gold dust 2.a green slime 3.noxious gas 4.a cloud of stinging gnats 5.blood and hair 6.flaming oil.)

  68. A man walks up the party in the bar he puts a key on their table, looks at them and says, "keep it safe" then walks off.

  69. A gelatinous cube being kept in a stone pit below then kitchen as a disposal grows to large and gets free.

  70. Three knights enter the bar and  loudly announce that every one has to leave the  prince will be arriving shortly for a drink.

  71. When the party arrives the tavern is completely empty no one is around not even the bar tender.

  72. A man enters the bar holding a shovel, he looks at another man sitting in the corner and says "it's done." then leaves.

  73. As the PC sit enjoying their drinks and mutton, a band of raiding (1d6: 1.Orcs 2.Goblins 3.Kobolds 4.ghouls 5. Shaguin 6.Humans) attack the village.

  74.       The innkeeper shows invites the PC's to the basement where he has a (1d6: 1.illegal casino 2.ritual summoning circle 3.mine 4.a shaft into a long lost mega dungeon 5.A really pronounced rat problem 6. a captured, and extra pissed off demon in a binding circle)

  75.       The mead made at this in apparently has magical healing properties, the bar keeper bursts into the room screaming about his "recipe." being gone.

  76.      When the party arrives the bar is full of (1d6: 1.Dwarfs 2.Elves 3.Hobbits 4.Gnomes 5.Orcs 6.Goblins) and they seem none to pleased to see any character of any other race walk in.

  77.      A group of knights burst in and announce "By order of the king alcohol is no illegal in his realms" with that they begin smashing the  barkeeps kegs much to his chagrin.

  78.      A nest of stirges has taken up residence in the peek of the  inn's roof.

  79.      A local celebrity  phase ball player walks into the bar.

  80.      One of the PC's notices one of the patrons is the child of a local noble, apparently traveling in disguise.

  81.      The bar tender asks the PC's if they can go to the next larger town and retrieve a special bottle of spirits from the old apothecary VanWinkle.

  82.      lightning strikes the inn.

  83.      A loud explosion erupts from the back of the inn then the shout, "Eureka!"

  84.      A man at the end of the bar begins to shake violently, before any one can react the mans skeleton rips out of his body and a ghastly voice hisses "FREE!"

  85.      A circus is in town and they are all in here right now getting  shit faced.

  86.      The innkeeper pulls a PC aside and tells them that his wife is involved in (1d6: 1.Adultery 2.demonology 3.slave trafficking 5.Drug trafficking 6.espionage) and needs to be quietly eliminated.

  87.      There is brothel upstairs and apparently one of the girls knows too much , the innkeeper asks the PC"s to get her out of town , FAST.

  88.      The innkeeper tells the PC's about a strange tenant they have upstairs , he can here him moving around but he has not been out of his room for months.

  89.        While sitting at the bar the  PC's hear trumpets calling from just out side of town.

  90.      A tornado rips though town, missing most of the buildings, then stopping stationary just out side the rear of the inn.

  91.      A Very fancy carriage  pulls up to the  bar, the  bar tender says "Well time to go!" He then tosses the  keys to the building on the bar and leaves.

  92.      A huge worm rips up though the floor.

  93.      A strange hammering can be heard form the basement. If the PC's investigate they find a fresh hole in the floor and several dust dwarf miners standing around scratching their beards in confusion.

  94.      A crow flies int the  bar with a note roughly tied to it's leg.

  95.   A Cloaked figure enters the bar points at one of the patrons and declares, "tonight we duel..MIDNIGHT." then leaves.

  96.      In one of the corner booths there is a knot in the inns old wooden walls that loos like an old sage, rumor has it that some nights it will whisper secrets, turns out the PC's just found out that the  myth is true.

  97.      The innkeeper and a patron begin heatedly arguing over the tab.

  98.      At a side table there is a loud thud, and a cloaked  man falls dead on the floor, with an arrow in his gut. A second man a the table pockets his crossbow and proclaims, "The on the floor shot first!" before fleeing out a window.

  99.      When the party leaves the Tavern they presented with a different location than the one they originally entered the bar from.

  100.      A battle breaks out in the town square between some  protesters and the town guards, it quickly spills into the bar sweeping every one up in the chaos.

Adventure kickers? Sure
Fast ideas? Yep
Talking points? Why not.
Giant maggots? Gott'em!
Some of it a bit stupid, Definitely.

If you use it let me know,
any thoughts comments or shenanigans, please drop me a comment.

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