This Blog 2019, Goals and Grommets

Inspired by the 2019 goals post over at Charles's Dragons Never Forget Blog, I figured I would do the same thing. 2018 right around ...

Thursday, May 8, 2014

The Ecology of the Slug-Goblin (another AIEE monster Ecology)

A.A.E.E. (Amazing Adventurers & Exciting Exploits) Monster Ecology.

After the first Ecology post there was a deafening out cry and demand for another! (Meaning one of my friends mentioned it in passing.)

I give you:
The Ecology of the Slug-Goblin.

Deep in the woods, where only wild creatures, druids and the occasional lost elf dare tread, the slug goblins make their camps. It is not known where they came from but they live only to take from others. They are the creeping thugs of the dark woods trails; the brigands that rob form the weak and just keep it.  The slug goblin is the lowest common denominator, preying on the common folk who don’t have the skills to defend themselves, bullies. They pose the type of menace that fresh adventures will often choose to deal with.

Slug goblins organize themselves in groups called “camps.” The camps will generally have a leader and up to 20 slug goblins working with him. These camps can be best described as rowdy college frats. The Slug goblins generally bully each other, masturbating, drink home fermented apples or ironic cheap beers, smoke weed, rob travelers, and making fart jokes all day. There is no such thing as a slug goblin female so there is nothing to cap to this behavior, it just gets worse and worse until some of the  slug goblins get pissed at the  leader and  wander off to start another camp somewhere else where they can be “cool.”  In-fact they continue acting exactly the same way, perpetuating the cycle.

Slug goblins steal as much as they can whenever they can, then never spend it. They horde it in tree stumps and in the shells of those dead slug goblins who used to be leaders. This hording instinct makes raiding Slug goblin camps dangerous but profitable. Slug goblins steal because it's fun and to them bulling a traveler is far less boring than hanging around the camp, they have no actual need of or value for the things they steal.

A point of  fact Slug goblins love mushrooms, and will use them and accept them as trade.

Slug goblins are a-sexual and reproduce by splitting, while diddling themselves. A slug goblin will experience tremendous pain in his chest and fall over, an hour latter that slug goblin spits into two fully formed slug goblins. Both slug goblins will always refer to the other as “bro” or “brah” and neither of which will ever admit to diddling themselves even though it's quite obvious one of them had to have been. This only happens once in a slug goblins life, afterward if they tip over while diddling themselves it’s for some other reason.

Slug goblins speak Common and slug-goblin. Their common is usually drawn out, broken, and airy. When  a slug goblin speaking in the common language and exhales it makes a throaty sound like "duhhhhhhh" between most sentences. The  Slug goblin's native  language is  very  wet and gurgled, sounding a bit like Elvis trying to gargle a pan of jello. 

Slug goblins stand between three and four feet tall. Their skin color runs from a sandy tan to a deep grey, through several shades of molted green, and is rough like sand paper.  The skin of a slug goblin is normally dry but when angered they produce a sticky acidic mucus that trails behind them. They stand on two stout but seemingly joint-less legs and have a stubby flat but very muscular tail that hangs behind them onto the ground. Their arms are similar in that they are stubby joint less and end in three stubby fingers like nubs.
The upper torsos are flat and amorphous, devoid of any muscle definition. This causes Slug goblins to often ask each other "You even lift Bro?"

The body of a slug goblin flows into the head seamlessly, with no apparent separation between neck chest and head proper. The face of a slug goblin sprouts four eye stalks, two major and two minor, the major being bigger about a foot to a foot and a half long, and on top the head and the minor being on the lower portion of the face and are generally between six and nine inches long. The major eye stalks contain the creature’s proper eyes, which can move independently and even see around corners. Slug goblins only see in black and white, which is why they dress like idiots. The minor eye stalks do not contain proper “eyes” but sensors that can detect magnetism and are used by the Slug-goblin to detect threats in the darkness and identify treasures on the ground. This sense is highly advanced, and gives the slug goblin an almost second sense when it comes to moving in dark areas or identifying and finding precious metals.

A slug goblins mouth is a thin slit in its head that hides a wide circular aperture ringed by needle like teeth. Slug goblins are omnivores and will eat just about anything. Their digestive track is not complex, but does contain very strong digestive acid that can handle just about anything.

The flesh of a slug goblin is made up of bundles of fibrous muscle like tissue that expands and contracts based on the movement of thick viscous fluid through chambers and pockets within said bundles. In short soak a lufa in grape jelly for about a week, the squeeze it, that’s a slug goblin.

Slug goblins contain no bones, because of this they can contort themselves into very tight spaces they often force their way into very small areas, through most cage bars, and into interesting hiding places.
One in 10 slug goblins will be shelled, like a snail. These are generally leaders among the slug goblins and are held in high esteem by others in the camp.

Slug goblins fight in organized groups, usually using ambush tactics. Some are brazen enough to simply approach a group of travelers and demand money, most travelers know that when there is one slug goblin  there will often be others lurking in the woods nearby. Slug goblins are  resoundingly stupid however and their master plans often boil down to, "When I yell come get em!"

Despite their relation to an actual slug and their strange physiognomy slug goblins can move and fight with surprising dexterity, they will contort their bodies strangely to attack form odd directions. When angered their acidic mucus also becomes a threat all its own. Not strong enough to melt leather or iron, the mucus can still give a nasty burn to flesh.

Slug goblins attack with all manner of improvised found or stolen weapons, and wear a plethora of mixed armor types.

Slug goblins take half damage from  blunt attacks.
Slug goblins are immune to acid
Slug goblins take 1d6 points of damage per round when exposed to salt.

Stat block:
  • Name:  Slug-Goblin
  • No. Appearing:  More than you think.
  • Resolve:  10 (a leader may have up to 20
  • Armor Value:  8 (+1d6 for a leader type)
  • Attack:  As per weapon
  • Damage:  By weapon (Small 1d6 Medium 1d8 Large 1d12)
  • Perk 1:  Do 1d6 extra damage (good hit bro!)
  • Perk 2:  Damage is acidic
  • Perk 3:  Stun
  • Critical Hit: Knock down target looses a turn (Come at me Brah!)
  • Critical fail: Slug goblin hit self of friend for full damage.

  1. It is said Giant slugs love the taste of slug goblins.
  2. I was told Orcs hate slug goblins so much they don't even use them as slaves, and will attack them on sight.
  3. It may be true that Slug goblin mucus can be collected in glass jars and sold as a delicacy in some places.
  4. I have heard that the shells of  Slug Goblins make fantastic water resistant back packs.
  5. There is a rumor of one female Slug goblin, she is a highly intelligent and powerful druid, and never associates with any of the male slug-goblins.
  6. Slug goblins take may take on any poison or other special effects that are contained in the mushrooms they eat, or so they say.
  7. Some say the thick fluid In the flesh of Slug Goblins has a very high methyl-alcohol content, like jelly hand sanitizer.
  8. It has been whispered that Slug goblins all secretly worship Demigorgon, and  they are his favored race, likely because they  die so often.
  9. Rumor has it each Camp has a leader that  goes once a summer to  meet with other slug-goblin leaders at what is called the gleek council. Nothing ever comes of these drunken get summits.
  10.  A related rumor says when several camps of  Slug goblins get to together it is called  gleek games and they compete in various made up tests for control of the gleek council.
  11. It has been rumored that hill giants will carry several captured slug goblins in a bag and throw them as projectiles if provoked. 
  12. I was told that a shelled slug goblin will be stunned and  retreat into it's shell motionless for a few seconds if a brave warrior should jump directly atop of it.
  13. There is a rumor that each slug goblin camp tithes 10% of its haul form  robbery to the priest hood of Orcus, why no one knows.
  14. Any stones ingested by a slug goblin will be rolled around in their acidic gut until polished to a beautiful luster, a dead slug-goblin may be cut open to retrieve such semiprecious polished gems.

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